Rise

I was recently asked to help someone in their journey by being an “accountability partner”.

At first, I declined. No thanks, I am already inundated with so many other commitments, surely there is someone else that this person can partner with. Who can blame me? I already work full-time, run a business, volunteer in a faith community, and maintain a house, husband, and hobbies – which include 5 other weekly meetings, mind you.

My friend persisted – apparently he thought I would be a good match for this person he knew.

Ever one to support a fellow human being, I thought I’d go along for the ride and see if I could maybe convince – *ahem* encourage – this person to realise that my friend was well-intentioned, but perhaps it would be a better idea if they partnered with someone else that would benefit more than me from their influence. After all, did I not mention the 5 weekly meetings I’m already part of? All of which challenge me to better myself in a variety of ways. Did I really need to add one more weekly meeting to my jam-packed schedule?

As it turns out, this person was indeed a good match, and we got on like a house on fire. And actually, she had just lost a mentor, and it was looking like our meetings were inclined in this direction; i.e. me the mentor, she the mentee. Before it got too far along though, I made it clear that our catch ups needed to have an intentional goal for BOTH of us, not ONE of us. This was NOT going to be a uni-directional relationship, where she opens with a, “I have this situation, what do you think?” and off we go into problem-solving mode. Nope. This was going to be a TWO-WAY relationship where BOTH of us contribute to one another’s growth.

An accountability partnership is exactly that – a partnership. It’s a mutual relationship where both parties help each other become better at something through regular check-ins.

It almost sounds selfish, me not wanting to be a mentor for somebody else. But this opportunity to go either way – be someone’s mentor, or accountability partner – really clarified something in me, for me.

At every opportunity, choose to Rise.

I know, it still sounds like I’m doing the opposite. Isn’t becoming someone’s mentor an example of choosing to Rise? So, why am I rejecting it?

In actual fact, the easy road was to be her mentor. The tougher road was to ask her to be more. The choice was clear, and easy to make. The conversation went something like this.

Girlfriend, I can absolutely see myself being a mentor for you with where you’re at in your life journey right now. And it would be so much fun. But if our meetings was just you coming to me, and me giving you advice, it would be too easy for you to stay where you are in yourself and keep getting spoon-fed. I don’t want this to be a relationship where you are a passive taker and I just keep giving, because I am very opinionated and it would be so tempting to just tell you what I think all the time. We have your goals for our meetings sorted, now I need to state my goals too, so that you can hold me accountable for stuff too. I’m not interested in a relationship dynamic where one is stronger than the other. We are both on a journey and we both need to feel like we’re making a difference in the other’s life. Otherwise it’s too easy to stay dependent and have the message reinforced each time we meet, that I will always have the answers.

Point is, we all need to Rise and be more than what we already are. That means taking on responsibilities and challenges that stretch us – in the direction that we have thoughtfully decided on. Read more about living in alignment with your Values in my previous blog post here.

I already had 5 other avenues whereby I was challenged to grow in different aspects of my life. Thanks to the glorious diversity of personalities, I saw in this new friend of mine, one more aspect of my life that she would mutually benefit from if I made her my “place” where I checked in each week about my progress. And as much as I was going to gain from this, the core reason for the decision was actually to strategically give her the opportunity to Rise; for her to feel a sense of responsibility for my growth and development. The saying is totally true:

A generous person will be prosperous, And one who gives others plenty of water will himself be given plenty.

Proverbs 11:25 (Holy Bible)

So, here I go into the second half of 2021, with 6 accountability groups. My word for the year was #Flourish. In this respect, the garden is certainly growing!

How about you? How will you Rise today? this month? this year? What challenges have you been hesitating to take up for yourself? Don’t let another opportunity pass by…

#reset your self-doubt and hesitancy

#release yourself to Rise and be more

My July goal: Journal specifically about “What challenged me today?”